the hardest walk

moving to san diego has been tough. i think it's mostly because i am questioning God's specific vocational call in my life. there always seem to be more questions than answers. i certainly want to trust in God, but it has been hard. i think this year will be crucial in figuring out what on earth we're supposed to be doing.

my wife and i were talking the other day about how we pictured the future when we in college. being a graduate of the wharton school of business at the university of pennsylvania, i guess i assumed i would have a high-paying job. that was, of course, before i obeyed the call to enter into full-time pastoral ministry.

when it was just me i had to worry about, what did it matter if i was not going to enjoy the financial success of my peers? these days, i find myself more and more worried about my family - especially our daughter. again, i want to trust that God is the best Father she could ever have, but as her daddy i want to provide everything for her. not only financially, but in every way. and it's extraordinarily frustrating when i know i cannot. it crushes me every time i hear say she misses her old friends and how she doesn't like our new church.


and yet, in the midst of all these questions and struggles, life and ministry roll on. we have our youth retreat coming up. just imagining staying up past midnight makes me sleepy. yikes. but i know God will work in the lives of His people. here is the logo i designed for it:



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i really love last fm. it's like having a nonstop mixtape playing on my laptop. i type "sufjan stevens" into the search engines, and i get to listen to artists like clap your hands say yeah, the decemberists, and belle and sebastian (in addition to mr. stevens, of course). please don't let it be some weird source of viruses!