headsparks*

movin' on up

2007-04-04T08:57:00.000-07:00

...or at least, moving on over. I am now blogging at headsparks.com. Come, ramble with me!

reflections on asian american (youth) ministry: part two

2007-03-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

I want to continue to build on some thoughts I began to share here. I will continue to use Marko's observations on the Asian American (AA) youth ministry as a framework for my response. In my first post, I tried to tackle the idea of youth workers being treated as second (or third) class citizens in Asian American churches. Today, taking on the idea of youth workers being treated as hired guns in AA churches...

68 guns
Certainly, the phrase "hired gun" is loaded (oh, the puns). Though I do have certain critical observations of AA churches in this regard, I do not believe that most AA churches intend for their youth workers to be simply hourly wage-earning automatons -- nor do I believe this is what Marko was implying in his original post. Most, if not all, of my peers in AA youth ministry have had a tremendous pastoral heart for their students.

Marko is right in using a somewhat explosive (again with the puns!) phrase in highlighting his underlying point, though. It it vital to recognize that youth ministry is not simply entrusted to AA youth workers, but abdicated to them. This happens for a number of reasons, from my experience.

Perceived inadequacy & professional relevance
First generation (1G) parents often feel inadequate in raising their own children. Beyond the obvious language, cultural and generational differences, many first generation parents simply do not have the time (or, in the worst case, inclination) to sit down and spend time with their children. However, this might also spring from a cultural difference -- the idea of Dad tossing around a baseball with the kids on a lazy Saturday might be idealized in the Western perspective, but not necessarily upheld in an Eastern worldview. The 1G love language can be very different, and difficult to understand, for their second generation (2G) children, and vice-versa.

Then, because of this perceived inadequacy (coupled with the frustration of having moody, incomprehensible, hormone-filled teens stomping around the house), 1G parents hand over the reins to the "expert" -- the youth worker. Often, these 1G parents prefer to have someone younger leading the youth ministry because they mistakenly believe that the youth worker will naturally understand their children's culture.

It is important to recognize that while a 2G youth worker probably does have more insight into the life and culture of students than their parents, there is still a huge gap between most youth workers and their students. For example, in high school I inhabited a world without the internet. And, although youth workers just a couple of years younger than me are more native to a wired world, the pace of change is so rapid that even my high schoolers have a hard time relating to their middle school peers at times.

More importantly, the trade-off between perceived relevance and stability/experience is completely uneven. I would much rather see AA churches filled with grizzled old youth ministry vets who are in it for the long-haul than to have young, hip and "relevant" people bounce in and out every couple of years.

Sunday's best
1G parents then, out of both exasperation and wanting the best for their 2G kids, pass along much of what should rightly be their responsibility to the youth workers. This includes everything from the profoundly spiritual to the mundane.

Many 1G Korean American parents express their faith through such spiritual disciplines as early morning prayer. In our church, the Korean congregation gathers every morning at 5:30 am to sing a couple of hymns, here a short sermon and pray together. In many ways, this disciplines has been reclaimed and redeemed from their Buddhist/shamanistic background. Most of these 1G parents recognize that such a model will not work for their 2G children. But instead of working through it with their kids, they expect the youth worker to be responsible for the spiritual formation of their children -- as if that were remotely possible in just a few hours each week. Youth workers are primarily responsible for teaching students about why developing a personal relationship with Jesus is important, how to walk with God, how to serve the church, how to see the world from a Christian perspective, how to have a quiet time, and on and on.

One complaint I have heard from many different parents in several different churches, located around the country, is that their students do not dress properly for church - and could you tell them how to dress? I suppose I should be ready for it by now, but I am always a taken aback by such a request. After all, do I take their children shopping? Do I see them before they come to church on Sunday? Can I adequately convey to the students the good reasons behind dressing nicely for church (without it degenerating into yet another set of "rules" for good church-going)? Other related issues usually center around teaching their children manners or urging them to study harder. Again, these are clearly parental responsibilities. As a parent myself, I understand their hearts but I also recognize that the best I can do is partner with them - not take over as a 2G surrogate parent.

Anyone want to volunteer? Anyone?
Many AA churches lack adult volunteers for their youth ministry, which further exacerbates the problem of isolation and departmentalization. Many 1G adults are frightened off from serving in youth ministries because they live under the same false assumption of "relevance" being the most important thing -- maybe their English isn't perfect, maybe they feel too old, etc. In addition, these very same people who would have the heart to serve are already living in the 80/20 rule (80% of the work is done by 20% of the people), wearing several different hats in service to the church. This is certainly true of the wonderful adults who volunteer in our youth ministry. Not only do they teach youth, but they are in the worship band, are cell group leaders, offering-counters and Sunday greeters. I marvel at their ability to keep their heads on straight.

Many AA churches hope to rely on their English-speaking adult congregations (EM) as a pool for volunteers. Unfortunately, many of the EMs are barely getting by on their own; I have often seen more resistance from EM pastors than from their 1G counterparts in terms of encouraging their congregants to volunteer in youth ministries.

A servant's heart
Add all of this up and most AA youth ministries find an urgent, fundamental need to develop student leaders. While this leadership void is filled through formal channels (i.e., student council/cabinet/core group, worship band, etc.), it is equally important in an AA setting to develop an overall concept of servant leadership for every student.

In part, this is because 2G students will serve, whether they like it or not. The ideal of filial piety (respecting your elders) runs deep in 1G congregations. The practical reality is that these 2G students will end up doing lots and lots of grunt work by the time their youth group years are up. A favorite example in our family (loosely based on our experience growing up in Korean American churches): some random deacon pulls up in front of the church with his van packed to roof with boxes of oranges. The random 1G adult will then proceed to conscript any English-speaking young person in the vicinity for orange-moving service.

The issue, then, is not if our 2G students will serve, but with what attitude they will serve. There is some truth to the idea that the true measure of our servanthood is revealed when we are treated as one. A huge part of my ministry to 2G students has been to develop a Christ-like idea of serving and loving simply because this is what He asks us to do.

A safe place to lead
It is not only necessity that makes developing AA student leadership so vital. The church is often the safest place in which these 2G students can develop leadership skills. Many 2G students live as constant outsiders -- navigating the choppy waters of school with their Western lens, then subconsciously switching gears to navigate their home culture through a completely different perspective. I was shocked to hear the story of one of our 10th graders. She described how her social studies class recently covered Pearl Harbor, and how several of her classmates began to harangue her aloud with "ching-chong" type of mockery. Her teacher, though clearly hearing all of this, did nothing to intervene. Sticks and stones, I suppose...

As horrible as her story is, though, it does illustrate the greater point. Because of the constant cultural navigation, many AA students will not feel comfortable developing leadership in a strictly Western (i.e., school) setting nor will they be at ease leading in a 1G context. While it might be a Western value to be outspoken, assertive, even aggressive, this will definitely not fly at home for 2G students. Even in the face of such obvious injustice, it was difficult for this student to speak out.

AA youth ministries, then, have a unique and significant opportunity to nurture and develop leadership in a safe context -- one that recognizes the complexities they face, and provides some guidance into a deeply Christian sense of leadership.

From hired hand to good shepherds
As I stated up front, most AA youth workers do not view themselves as hired guns. The issue, then, is creating an overall culture in AA churches where the shepherding of students is upheld as a legitimate, valuable and necessary ministry.

As Jesus said in John 10:

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.

hello, goodbye

2007-03-29T15:44:00.000-07:00

Hello to a new article I wrote for relevantmagazine.com.

Goodbye to my favorite pair of Pro-Ked sneakers. You will be missed.

reflections on asian-american (youth) ministry: part one

2007-03-27T11:43:00.000-07:00

The controversy surrounding "Skits that Teach" over the last several weeks has caused me to spend a lot of time in reflection – asking myself big picture questions about race, reconciliation and the church, as well as more personal issues about calling, direction and engaging others in meaningful dialogue. It just occurs to me now that this time of soul-searching, reflecting and repentance (providentially) coincides with the season of Lent.

A couple of weeks ago, I was able to sit down and meet with Marko from Youth Specialties. I have been meaning to share for a little while now, but I’ve been struggling to pull together all of my thoughts. However, given that I might never get it all completely together, I want to begin sharing some of my thoughts and reflections.

I was very encouraged by the time I spent with Marko. He is a sincere, down-to-earth and caring individual. I’m not sure how many presidents of other companies (Christian or not) would sit down for a couple of hours with some random emailer, but that's exactly what Marko did. It was powerful to see an influential person take these issues to heart -- Marko had just finished reading Asian American Youth Ministry (edited by DJ Chuang) as part of his desire to engage these issues on a deeper level. He posted some of his observations here on his blog.

I am thankful that Marko has added his voice in this conversation. His perspective is unique in this context -- he is both an insider (as someone who is fully invested in the lives of students, youth ministry and youth workers) and an outsider (as a non-Asian-American person) to the situation.

This is a significant dialogue, for the future of Asian-American youth and youth ministry as well as for the broader Church. Marko’s three observations about Asian-American youth ministry are important, and I will interact with each of his insights on this blog for a little while in a series of individual posts.

First, Marko points out that youth workers are often treated as second or third-class citizens in Asian-American churches. While this is not true in every Asian-American church (and is a struggle outside of our community as well), many of us have encountered this ugly fact of life in our ministries. It is not uncommon for Asian-American youth to have gone through three or four (or more) youth pastors during their middle and high school years. One of the first questions I heard from many of my students once I arrived at this church was, "How long are you going to be here?" A youth teacher at our church fired a warning shot over my bow on the first Sunday I was here, saying, "I hope you're not treating youth ministry as a stepping stone."

While there are positive aspects to the Confucian ideal of respecting our elders, there is also a dark side to it as well -- as evidenced by the poor treatment of many youth workers. Sadly, youth ministry is often treated as either an after-thought or as "ministry lite" by many of our churches because it deals directly with younger people. This translates into an environment where there is no future for youth workers. As Marko rightly points out, "the pay sucks." None of us entered youth ministry (or ministry in general) believing that we would become wealthy, but there is something wrong with the system.

Because many churches see youth ministry as a temporary thing that only seminarians or young, single people do, they feel justified in paying very low wages to their youth workers. While it may be possible for single people to scrape by (though it is still wrong for churches pay their young, single workers so poorly), it is almost impossible to support a family on these wages. Thus, many are forced either to move on from youth ministry or leave church work altogether as they begin to raise families.

I have often received advice from first-generation people that pastors should not talk too much about money, lest they appear greedy. Some have even gone so far as to say that we shouldn't even ask about our pay -- just find out when you get your first paycheck. In my last church, they actually lied about how much I would be paid -- stating one amount over the phone but actually paying a significantly lower amount. I do not believe we must follow the corporate model of formal negotiations and including every minute detail in a written contract, but churches must begin taking better care of their youth workers.

In a worst-case scenario, I have one friend who had been serving at one of the biggest Asian-American churches in the country as a youth pastor for several years. Not only did he never receive a raise, but his pay was actually decreased at one point. Although he is married and has a child, he did not receive health insurance from the church. Worse, when he raised these concerns to the church, their response was, "You should be glad you can work here. There are plenty of people who are dying to take your job."

Sometimes, these significant issues of wages and compensation are brushed aside under the rhetoric of “humility.” Youth workers need to “pay their dues” and learn just how hard ministry is supposed to be.

This attitude of relegating youth ministry to the minor leagues goes far beyond issues of pay. When churches believe that the only “real” ministries are to adults, then youth ministry becomes little more than a tool. Churches hope to cultivate a successful youth ministry primarily as a means of attracting adults (the real members) to “big church.” I have heard numerous first-generation pastors equate youth ministry with “just playing” or babysitting. This fundamental lack of vision for youth ministry makes it almost impossible for even the most dedicated youth workers to remain in it for the long haul.

In the end, I suppose it is not only youth workers that are treated as second-class citizens. I can think of many faithful associate pastors I have known and admired who have labored under even worse circumstances in their first-generation ministry setting. While the role of the senior pastor in a first-generation setting has its own set of extraordinary difficulties, the difference in compensation and respect between the senior pastor and the rest of the staff is staggering.

So, how do we begin to address these issues? How do we create the perception that being in youth ministry can be a legitimate end, that it is not inherently a temporary layover until “real” ministry begins? How can we help our churches champion and support youth ministry as vital and foundational to their being?

~~~~~~~~~

I have always blogged using all-lowercase words. Beyond the aesthetic of it, I viewed my blog as a sort of stream-of-consciousness setting - not much editing, just my thoughts as they spilled out onto the screen. I have decided to clean it up a bit, partly for readability (it can be difficult to distinguish one sentence from another without capitalization) and partly as an attempt to organize my thoughts in a more deliberate manner (I have found myself taking much more time to write posts over the last couple of months anyways).

intervention

2007-03-20T15:26:00.000-07:00

i love indie rock. the early to mid-90s songs of dinosaur jr., sebadoh, pavement and superchunk always take me back. but more than just the music itself, there is something appealing to me about the ethos of indie rock. artists like ian mackaye and jonah matranga embody the do-it-yourself and music-centered spirit of independent rock and roll.

canadian indie rock artists the arcade fire have enjoyed critical and commercial success with their latest release neon bible. while their live performances have been described a "joyous" and "infectious," the lyrical ground they cover is a bit darker. for example, here are some lyrics from the song "intervention" (which they performed recently on saturday night live):

Been working for the church while your life falls apart
They're singing hallelujah when defeating your heart
Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home
Hear the soldier groan all quiet and alone
Hear the soldier groan all quiet and alone

i am sure there are multiple layers of meaning to this song. perhaps there is a political or personal analogy. but as someone whose vocation is in church ministry, i cannot ignore the face value of these lyrics. sadly, these words from an outsider are often the reality many church workers face (as eugene cho wrote about in his excellent post on pastoral health).

may the sparks of friendship & love burn deep and bright in the hearts of God's people, especially those whose vocation is in the church.

detroit, lift up your weary head! (rebuild! restore! reconsider!)

2007-03-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

with a nod to david park over at next gener.asian church and his series of posts on unique korean virtues that em's aren't teaching our kids, i will share a couple of things that i love and/or appreciate (though sometimes from a distance) about the korean-american (k/a) church.

like many pastors in the k/a setting, i experience a sort of delirium every weekend. the weekend is, of course, the only time many congregants have available -- and so we squeeze every minute out of it with meetings, practices, Bible studies and various other programs (but let me stop before this devolves into some kind of rant about the potential counter-productivity of such an approach).

my weekend begins, as it does in many other k/a churches around the country, with early morning prayer.

there is something strangely romantic about early morning prayer (emp). maybe it's the idea that we are following jesus' example in going to a lonely place at the crack of dawn to pray. i've heard many people describe emp as the foundation of the k/a church. there really is something amazing about a church that prays so faithfully -- gathering in community every morning to seek God.

i must admit, though, that i appreciate the practical reality of emp far less than the concept of it. there are numerous reasons for this: laziness (i think the "loves suffering" gene must have skipped me), my inability to speak korean (it's hard enough getting there by 5:30 am, let alone sticking with a thirty minute sermon in which i can only glean about ten percent of its meaning), and my growing introvertedness (i had no problem praying myself hoarse in group settings ten years ago, but i've changed since then)....

i wonder, though, if my biggest struggle with emp doesn't come from my westernized perspective. our senior pastor recently asked our second-generation staff about how we, as second-gen people, experience spiritual growth since emp doesn't seem to be a large part of the equation. while i'm pretty sure this was a not-so-subtle suggestion to start attending emp more than the twice-a-week i've been going, this gets at some key issues.

the daily devotion/quiet-time model for spiritual growth is perfectly suited to the highly individualized western mindset. i'll take my bible and my ipod and spend some quality time with jesus - alone. for many first-gen believers, the value of community is so deeply ingrained that the idea of spiritual growth apart from the community is almost unthinkable. thus, the emp model fits well in the community-minded first-gen perspective.

to be certain, we need balance. spiritual growth requires careful cultivation in both individual and corporate settings. i wonder if there is a way to capture the best of both worlds. it's sad that, in the past, when i have suggested to second-gen people that we gather for emp (even once a week), they laugh out loud. and then, after realizing that it was not asked sarcastically, they start listing the reasons why they cannot do it.

i don't think this is an issue of forcing second-gen people to set up more emp meetings. i'm not sure that would be the most effective model for building community and fostering spiritual growth in our churches. but we cannot afford to ignore the values that go into emp: earnest belief in the power of prayer, valuing the community so much that we're willing to sacrifice for it, making the church community a part of everyday life.

leave in silence

2007-03-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

"why should he run the meeting in english?! we all speak korean here! he should speak korean, too!!"

i am a big believer that youth ministry is actually family ministry. there is no way a couple of hours a week at church can shape the heart of a young person. if we're going to reach students for Christ, then we must reach their families.

and herein lies the dilemma. most of the time, i find myself completely unable to navigate first-generation korean culture. it's not just that i cannot speak the language (although there has been perhaps a 15% improvement in comprehension over the last couple of years); the cultural gap seems to be growing larger the longer i serve in this context.

last sunday, we had a pta meeting here at church. knowing that very few people look forward to these poorly-attended meetings, the education pastors did our best to keep it short (only about 15 minutes total, between three different ministries -- not bad!). we closed in prayer together with the parents and i gathered my things to leave.

it was then, about five or six feet behind me, that i heard one particular dad start ranting, loudly, to a small group of people around him about how unhappy he was. apparently, since i had made all of three announcements in english, he was about to blow a gasket. in the couple of months since we've been at this church, i have heard numerous comments from this particular man about how he wants things to be run and the mistakes others have made.

i really wanted to turn around and tell him to calm down. that if i could, of course i would have run my part of the meeting in korean. that there were plenty of other people here who also struggled with english, but seemed to be handling it fine. that, even if i could not communicate well with him, i am reaching his kids. but, of course, since we don't speak each other's language (in more ways than one) i chose not to say anything. plus, i was pretty steamed, which is not always the best way to engage a conversation with a church member.

i want to be pastoral with him. his life has been really hard -- not only as an immigrant to this country, but with a family life that would make anyone bitter and frustrated. most of the time, this man is very nice, even charming, with church people. but i think he must feel the need to flex on someone. all of his disenfranchisement and disappointment with life come bubbling to the surface, and he lashes out at the youth and education ministries (on whom he must feel like he has the upper hand).

i don't mean to bad-mouth our church. most of the people here have been very kind, and i certainly don't expect anyone to cater to my needs. as a pastor, i'm here to serve, after all. however, i am getting worn out by this kind of attitude. it's not like this church is unique in this. while it might only be a small percentage of people, this type of attitude has been present in almost every ministry in which i've served.

grow a thicker skin.
pray more.
forgive.
learn korean.
i know there's a laundry list of things i can/should do in response to all of this. but it's still frustrating.

why can't i be you

2007-03-13T10:49:00.000-07:00

i was playing with my three and a half year old daughter the other day. usually, she wants to read together or have a tea party. when we can, we'll go biking or scootering. on this particular day, though, she wanted to pretend to play music together.

she took out a little pink inflatable guitar (that my wife picked up as a freebie at a seminar at the national children's pastor's conference) and started strumming. my daughter has always loved music, especially the rock. when she was around a year old, she would demand we listen to "vertigo" by u2 over and over again during our long ride from home to church.

all of a sudden, though, she began smashing the guitar -- pete townshend-style. a bit taken aback, i asked her what she was doing. she said she was just doing what daddy did before. now i was confused. when had i smashed a guitar in front of her (or ever)? had i knocked something over in frustration? did i totally screw up?

i was relived when she clarified what she meant. she explained to her confused father that she was talking about "that guitar game" where, upon successfully completing a song, the virtual guitarist on screen would proceed to demolish his or her guitar, with glee. the game to which she was referring is, of course, guitar hero.

everyday i realize how quickly kids pick up on the things they see. from muttering insults at the car who just cut me off to the kinds of things i think are funny, i am setting an example at all times. in this enormous responsibility and calling, all i can do is rely on the grace of God to continue to mold & shape my heart, and to guide and lead my family as well.

i wish i had photos of her smashing that guitar, though!

there's no other way

2007-03-02T09:09:00.000-08:00

all of the recent commotion about some racially offensive skits published in a zondervan/youth specialties book has caused me to spend some time this week seriously considering issues of race, power and faith, and how they are interconnected. no solid conclusions yet; i'm still kicking around ideas in my head. helpful in my thought process these days have been some words that brian mclaren and rob bell have both shared about turning the other cheek. from the secret message of jesus:

Conventional morality argues for appropriate revenge (an eye for an eye), but Jesus calls for something beyond revenge entirely: reconciliation. These are the words that so inspired Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandela, the people of post-genocide Rwanda, and so many others. These words introduced radical new ways of responding to injustice: nonviolent resistance, conflict transformation, and active peace-making. Think of it like this:

If someone strikes you on the right cheek, they have given you a backhand slap - the kind of thing a person in power (like a Roman soldier) does to a person he considers inferior (like a Jew). You could strike back, but that would reduce you to the same violent level as your oppressor. Or you could simply skulk away in humiliation, but that would mean letting the oppressor win. The kingdom manifesto invites you to pursue a third alternative: courageously turn the other cheek. Think of it: now to strike you on the left cheek, your presumably right-handed oppressor must treat you not as an inferior person but as a peer by hitting you with his fist, not his backhand. You have shown yourself to be not violent or weak but rather courageous and dignified and strong. You have shown your oppressor for the violent person he is. You have thus transcended oppression without violence or revenge.

this has been driving me nuts ever since i read it. this third-way alternative response to violence and oppression prescribed by Jesus for His followers is, of course, the best way. however, as transcendent and creative as it is, i still struggle with it. despite my hothead tendencies, i don't think i struggle with this third way because i want to be a violent person or dwell in anger. the frustrating part is that choosing this way does not feel particularly satisfying. more frustrating still is that very idea that i am not yet the kind of person who feels satisfied by obeying Jesus' commands and following His lead, in these types of cases. slowly, hopefully i will be changed.

i know Jesus is not blaming the victim here -- it is not the fault of the oppressed that they have been mistreated. their response, however, is up to them. clearly, Jesus embodied this third way beyond the ability or imagination of anyone of us -- the Lamb of God, humbly living among us and giving His life away freely, even in the face of corruption, deceit and injustice.

it's a strange kind of double burden: to be wronged, and then to respond rightly despite being wronged (regardless of how the other party chooses to live). i don't know how this plays out differently at an individual versus corporate level (or if it does at all), but i do know this is an impossibly high calling. i am convinced that only Christ in us can compel us to move forward in any meaningful sense.

every little counts

2007-02-26T13:36:00.000-08:00

a quick update about "skits that teach"...

i emailed zondervan, youth specialties and the skit guys toward the end of last week regarding a racially offensive skit that was published in a book called "skits that teach." my cynical side was fully expecting another "rickshaw rally"-type showdown, but so far, things have been encouraging.

first, i received thoughtful responses from everyone i had contacted. i say thoughtful, because in contrast to lifeway and their stubborn refusal to admit that they had done anything wrong, zondervan, ys, and the skit guys all expressed sincere remorse for what had happened. more importantly, they have agreed to edit future editions of the book to remove the skit and remove current editions from the bookshelves.

i suppose now, all we can do is wait and see how the parties involved follow through on their commitments, but this appears to be a positive start.

david park, over at next gener.asian church, shared some thoughts about asian-americans moving beyond issues that exclusively concern our communities. i certainly agree that our biblical mandate is to speak out for the oppressed, voiceless and marginalized regardless of their race or ethnic background. however, my experience in the asian-american (korean-american, more specifically) church has emphasized personal piety -- almost to the exclusion of concern for others. even building houses for families in faraway places serves only as a means to an end -- sharing an eternal gospel that has almost no bearing on our present reality, other than to get others to do the same. simply to get as/am believers motivated regarding issues that directly affect us is an enormous task. hopefully, it can serve as a springboard toward a wider, more balanced (and biblical) concern for others.

i think it is a very powerful witness when we are able to advocate for justice for others outside of our community. may God give us His heart and awaken each one of us with care, concern and passion for others around us.

unbelievable

2007-02-22T11:02:00.000-08:00

actually, i guess i shouldn't be too surprised at this, but i am still frustrated, angry and disappointed. i found this entry at soong-chan rah's blog yesterday and it ruined the better part of my day.

An excerpt from Zondervan's Skits That Teach by Eddie James and Tommy Woodward published in 2006. A skit book meant to be used by youth groups all over the US features the following:

"Herro, Dis is Wok's Up Restaurant calling to confirm your order. . . . I think that, yes, you total is 14 dollar 95 cent."

"Herro? This is Wok's Up Restaurant again. We have drive and drive, and we can't find you house. We don't find you house soon, you pu pu get cold. Pu pu good when it hot."

(Hostile) "Okay, we drive for long time looking for you house. I tell you, you go outside and I look for you. I am driving a red Rincon (Lincoln) Continental. You pu pu still getting cold. Bye!

"Okay, I drive for long time and I stil not find you house. So I am eating you pu pu! Ruckiry it still warm. I was hungry, so I eat it. Mmmmm . . . this pu pu is good. (Smacks lips a few times) You on my bad rist. You don't call us anymore. Bye!

seriously, give me a break. these "skit guys" are self-proclaimed skit experts and this is the best they could come up with? their "home run" idea to lead off their new book of skits is a played out racist send-up? not only is this kind of "humor" not actually funny - it's degrading, offensive and lazy. it pains me to think of all the kids who've already had a good laugh at our expense.

i'm not much of an activist, but i went into the local family christian bookstore first thing this morning to take a look for myself. sure enough, there was the skit -- the first one in the book. i took it to the front and brought it to the manager's attention. she was also surprised, and immediately took it off the shelf. she said they would pass along the message to corporate. hopefully, they can follow through on this and, just maybe, take this book off all their shelves. a woman who waiting in line behind me overheard what i had brought up, and as i was leaving she actually said, "thank you for saying something about this." it turns out she is a youth drama ministry leader and has encountered these types of things before. and no, she wasn't asian.

i am also planning on writing to these skit guys, zondervan and youth specialties to let them know that this kind of thing is not acceptable. i'm sure their responses will be along the lines of the rickshaw rally "we didn't mean any harm by it" and "you just need to get over it" type of thinking, but i think it's still important to let them know how ugly and wrong this is. i know they run a business and it's expensive to remove/re-edit the book, but they are also representatives of Christ -- and sometimes doing the right thing costs.

i would love to be able to focus all my time & energy on ministry to people. and i know, of course, that in Christ we are called to be one body -- that He destroys all of the ridiculous barriers we set up to divide ourselves. in the end, this skit guys thing isn't that big of a deal -- but there's no reason for those who create, market and push these products to stop unless someone points out why it's wrong.

set phasers to stun

2007-02-21T14:52:00.000-08:00

i just picked up sex god by rob bell today. quite a title, no? i have to admit, the fundie in me gasped a little bit when i saw it. and there are plenty of others, burning torches in hand, who are doing more than just gasping. it's funny how rob bell incites such strong reactions from people: people either really love him or really hate him. while i can't say i agree with everything he writes, i do believe his voice is a refreshing - and necessary - one.

i'm sure there is some shock-value intent in that title, but i'm very interested to see where this all leads. the subtitle is, "exploring the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality." i might try to trek out to ucla for his q+a session -- hopefully, there will be some fruitful conversation there.

prayers for rain

2007-02-14T17:32:00.000-08:00

i just returned from our youth retreat and i am reminded of a couple of things. first, God is surprising and faithful. second, i am not getting any younger. i think i had some kind of weird time-delayed sickness hit me today.

more & more, my ministry has been about following Jesus in the ordinary days. youth (people in general, really) often seek the next mountaintop (or, in the absence of a high, a nice deep valley will do) to sustain their faith. i have been influenced over the last couple of years by the writing of good people like eugene peterson, dallas willard, john ortberg and henri nouwen. i read this great quote the other day about how writers like this speak powerfully not because of their verbal fireworks, but by the gravity of a godly life. as such, i have been moving away from the big and fantastic and more toward the quiet and deep (although i realize these categories are not always mutually exclusive) and emphasizing the importance of walking with God in our everyday lives.

anyhoo, i think it's safe to say that each of us experienced God's presence in a very real and powerful way this past weekend. it's so easy to forget how important it is for our hearts to be broken in God's presence. many students shared that their favorite memories were not the games (including a very painful round of "mahl-doo-baki" -- a game that involves the purposeful inflicting of pain on others' backs through high-flying aerials) or the activities, but the times of prayer we had.

like a good postmodern youth ministry, we set up a series of prayer stations for our students one night. one of the stations was designed to allow students to pray about their family life. as anyone in asian-american youth ministry knows, this is often a very deep source of pain for as/am students. our youth group is no exception. at this stations, students were supposed to use a scrabble board to share a word they felt describes their family, and then to pray for their families. here is what the scrabble board looked like at the end of the night:

while there are a couple of positive descriptors (hope, heaven, smile, hugs), what stood out to me was the amount of hurt. words like guilty, unfixable, and destroyed practically jumped off the board and slapped me in the face. i've only been serving this youth ministry for about three months, but i've really come to love these students. this small group of less than twenty is a very sweet, caring bunch. just beneath the surface, however, is so much pain & frustration.

when i first started in ministry, i think i thought ministry was mostly about preaching big messages to big crowds. now that i'm a little bit older, with a family of my own, i'm realizing how important it is to deal with these whole-life issues, especially family.

i'm still wondering, though, how "nee" ("een"?) or "niatrecnurx" relate to what we were doing there.

the hardest walk

2007-01-31T14:39:00.000-08:00

moving to san diego has been tough. i think it's mostly because i am questioning God's specific vocational call in my life. there always seem to be more questions than answers. i certainly want to trust in God, but it has been hard. i think this year will be crucial in figuring out what on earth we're supposed to be doing.

my wife and i were talking the other day about how we pictured the future when we in college. being a graduate of the wharton school of business at the university of pennsylvania, i guess i assumed i would have a high-paying job. that was, of course, before i obeyed the call to enter into full-time pastoral ministry.

when it was just me i had to worry about, what did it matter if i was not going to enjoy the financial success of my peers? these days, i find myself more and more worried about my family - especially our daughter. again, i want to trust that God is the best Father she could ever have, but as her daddy i want to provide everything for her. not only financially, but in every way. and it's extraordinarily frustrating when i know i cannot. it crushes me every time i hear say she misses her old friends and how she doesn't like our new church.

and yet, in the midst of all these questions and struggles, life and ministry roll on. we have our youth retreat coming up. just imagining staying up past midnight makes me sleepy. yikes. but i know God will work in the lives of His people. here is the logo i designed for it:

~~~~
i really love last fm. it's like having a nonstop mixtape playing on my laptop. i type "sufjan stevens" into the search engines, and i get to listen to artists like clap your hands say yeah, the decemberists, and belle and sebastian (in addition to mr. stevens, of course). please don't let it be some weird source of viruses!

dreams never end

2007-01-17T12:17:00.000-08:00

even though i'm a couple of days late, i've been thinking about dr. martin luther king's life and legacy. i downloaded a podcast of his "i have a dream" speech. you can find it here. it's amazing how powerful his words remain today, even for a worn-out cynic like me.

i have been thinking about racial equality and justice in america. on some levels, especially at the legislative/political level, things have gotten much better. out-and-out racism is on the decline (although recent anti-immigration laws might reverse that trend) in that sense.

however, i think racial prejudice usually affects people in a more subtle, personal way. i was born and raised in michigan, and although my town was diverse for the midwest, it was predominantly white. one day, when i was about sixteen, a group of friends and acquaintances went bowling. two of my friends began arguing - something about someone owing money (always a touchy subject among friends and family). at one point, frustrations boiled over and one boy shouted at the other, "don't try to jew me out of that money!"

the other boy stood there, stunned. after a moment, he collected himself and told the other kid how that offended him, because his own ethnic/religious background was jewish.

now, one would hope for an apology and a quick reconciliation. unfortunately, the other, very white, boy became incensed. "how dare you accuse me of racism! that's just a phrase people say. it doesn't mean anything. you're being too sensitive. just shut up and take it..."

i'm not sure if i was afraid that the others would turn against me ("oh, now the korean kid is getting into it"), or just too timid in general, but i stood there watching -- silently.

i know that some people will not listen to reason. that even if one approaches them in a calm, rational, humble manner that they will still lash out with their racism. but, i hope that i've learned something from this. that i won't be restricted to defending "my own" but that i will stand in solidarity with all of God's people -- to speak truth to injustice and to live out the dream of God for unity.

don't you (forget about me)

2007-01-04T14:21:00.000-08:00

a couple of years ago, i led a group of high school students to lewisham, england (just outside of london) for a two-week mission trip. it was, to say the least, an interesting experience - a group of korean-americans bringing the gospel back to post-christian england, partnered with a predominantly african/west-indian/british church.

surprisingly, i enjoyed the food during our stay. we had been warned during our orientation that we might be eating lots of bland, boiled, mashed things. luckily (providentially?), the majority of our host church members were not anglos but of west indian descent- so we enjoyed spicy jerk chicken and other west indian delicacies throughout our stay. one of the most pleasing discoveries i made while in lewisham was that, in the uk, mcdonald's still serves fried apple pies.

this brings us to the present day. lately, maybe because of all the outlawing of trans-fats, i have really been wanting to eat a fried apple pie. unfortunately, most mcdonald's franchises here in the states switched over to the baked format years ago. it might be marginally healthier, but it is significantly less tasty. while the caramel apple empanada from taco bell is pretty good, it still isn't quite the same.

this jonesing took me to the web. i googled "mcdonalds fried apple pie" and was delighted to find the "mcdonald's fried apple pie locater." seriously. after a couple of dead-ends (i started calling different locations around san diego) i finally hit the jackpot with the mcdonald's at horton plaza in downtown sd.

getting there was a whole different story. the trip downtown was relatively simple, but getting into horton plaza was very confusing. luckily (providentially?), i found street parking right across from the mall and entered the stairwell in the parking structure. all the signs indicated i should enter the plaza at level four -- but the stairwell would only take me to odd numbered floors. at my own peril (because of the apparent road rally going on inside), i crossed through the interior of the parking structure to another stairwell -- which was fenced off before level four. confused, i re-entered the parking structure. i stopped a security guard to ask for directions and, happily, caught a ride with him to the entrance in the horton plaza security golf cart.

after briskly walking around the floor level of the mall a couple of times, i stopped by the concierge to ask for directions to the mcdonald's. if you're going to visit, it's way up on the fourth floor. and there's no direct staircase/escalator to get there. after taking every staircase in the plaza, i finally reached the mcdonald's.

sometimes, there is a letdown after anticipating something so much and working so hard to get there. ah, but the fried apple pie is just as good as i remember it. perhaps therein lies its appeal to me -- not only does it provide scalding hot fried deliciosity, but it evokes my childhood.

i don't mean to be smarmy or flippant, but this year i want to seek God in this way -- earnestly, with great desire, still journeying toward the goal even if i get lost, remembering His goodness in the past and savoring His sweetness today. all of this from my fried apple pie quest.

wave of mutilation

2006-12-16T22:57:00.000-08:00

just in time for the holidays, a wave of wii-related injuries!

maybe it's the combination of the thrill of being one of the lucky few to purchase a wii and the lack of sleep from waiting in line all night at the local best buy to purchase one but, in any case, people have been knocking themselves out (quite literally) as they have engaged the wii. check out wii have a problem for stories and photos...

i think my personal favorite is this guy. he has this multi-layered expression - kind of smiling through the pain, kind of frowning (perhaps because of the cause of his injury). as it turns out, wii have a problem reports, "He fractured his clavicle playing a Wii homerun derby. That's gotta be a first." i know some people will do a little pete townshend-esque windmilling and scissor kicking while playing guitar hero, but this is pretty radical commitment to the game.

this whole wii phenomenon is pretty post-modern. as our man leonard sweet notes, our digital culture is becoming increasingly "epic"... experiential, participatory, image-rich and connective. by getting gamers to move beyond button-mashing into simulating the game itself (which kind of begs the question, why not just play the actual game? but i digress...) nintendo has certainly upped their epic quotient.

it's just a matter of time before some tech/trend-savvy churches incorporate the wii remote into their services... instead of virtually hitting a baseball, going bowling or using nunchakus faithful congregants can use their wii-motes to take virtual notes (left wii-mote is the note pad, the right one is the pen) or nod along at key points during the sermons.

true faith

2006-12-13T12:08:00.000-08:00

we just moved to san diego. it's a very lovely place, but we are still feeling pretty unsettled.

we are getting to know our new church community. the church we just left has been struggling through about two years of pretty intense conflict - two factions are warring over the church property and there were numerous court dates, injunctions, and restraining orders over the last several months. but for all of the insanity, we still miss the people with whom we journeyed together over the last couple of years.

one of the hardest transitions to make is for our daughter. since we left in the middle of the school year, she hasn't been able to enroll in a new preschool program - and she loves school. even at church, it is a scary prospect to meet and get to know a whole new set of friends. i realized how difficult it was for her when she couldn't sleep one recent saturday night. when i sat down to talk to her, she told me through her tears that she didn't want to go to our new church, that it was hard making friends. more than any of the typical church nonsense, these are the things that make me wonder if ministry as a vocation is worth all of the sacrifices.

things are looking up, though. yesterday, our daughter had her first playdate with a friend - the senior pastor's daughter. my wife was sharing about how much fun they had - they even baked cookies! our senior pastor's daughter is quite energetic - a very adventurous sort, and almost two years older than our daughter. apparently, she was climbing over a playpen and our daughter followed (despite mommy's warnings). in the process our daughter took a pretty nasty spill. after some tears and some hugs from mommy, she was fine.

later that day, when i sat down with our daughter, i tried to explain how important it is to be careful - especially when mommy tells her something is dangerous. i told her how sometimes people fall down on their heads, and then they can't walk anymore - and sometimes, they can't even use their arms.

my daughter's eyes grew wide. her three-year old mind was processing the severity of this news, and she agreed to be more careful in the future. and then she looked at me and said, "jesus' friend couldn't walk, but then jesus made him feel better."

it took me a minute to respond to her. i was so glad that my daughter remembered and believed her bible stories (she thinks it's really funny, and kind of rude, that four friends made a hole in someone else's roof to bring their friend to jesus) but worried about how to respond. i wanted to nurture her faith that jesus can do anything, but not give her an unrealistic expectation of how God works in the world ("yeah, go ahead and jump off that bridge - God will catch you"). this is something i've struggled with - how to believe in a God of miracles, signs and wonders without turning into a hopped-up televangelist...

i approached my answer in as delicate a way as i could, not wanting to mess up her faith. i explained that God is able to help hurting people, but that sometimes people still get hurt really bad. fortunately, i didn't have to consult "when bad things happen to good people." she agreed with me that the best thing would probably be just to be as careful as possible in the future.

apocalypse wow

2006-11-17T22:21:00.000-08:00

there's a church down the street that has displayed the following message on their placard for the past couple of months: "new sermon series - the book of revelation: your future" ... now, i know i'm picking a couple of easy targets here (i.e., church signs and "left behind" eschatology) but i see the sign all the time, and i always think the same thing:

first, i think, "how can it still be a new series after all this time?" which is then followed by a mild depression. it's like when i rented the omega code from blockbuster because i was feeling smarmy and ironic. after watching it, though, i felt guilty and sad. guilty, because i was mocking other believers and sad, because of how so many people treat the bible as if it were some kind of sudoku puzzle that, upon being solved, would magically lay out the blueprint for the future...

i know how hard it can be to discern God's will. our family is right in the middle of a huge transition, and things are very muddled. our church has gone through some outrageous things over the last couple of years, we've struggled with our sense of calling, and we're moving on to where we believe (hope) God is leading us. but i think things would be a whole lot worse if God hid His plans for us in a cosmic game of hide and seek. when i'm being honest, it's me who plays games with God, not the other way around. rationalizing, hiding, venting, pouting... that's on me, not on Him.

i want to have confidence in God, even when i can't see clearly. i'm not there yet, but that's where i want to be - relying on our God of hope who redeems.

love is the movement

2006-10-10T22:16:00.000-07:00

i really enjoyed reading the irresistible revolution by shane claiborne. well, perhaps enjoyed is the wrong word. i "enjoy" films like tommy boy and big momma's house, the clearance section at target, unplanned trips to best buy. reading the irresistible revolution was definitely unlike any of those experiences. i often felt a serious sense of discomfort - at the desperate situations shane and his friends encountered and at the realization that serving the poor might mean more than sending a check every month to world vision.

being a nerdy t-shirt collector, i had been meaning to buy a shirt that i once saw with the slogan "love your enemies." today, i came across this design (to the left). it is being printed as part of a micro-business venture by the good folks at the simple way, a community of which shane is a part. here is a pretty neat story behind the shirt. according to their description, each shirt is "Printed on a recycled, blank t-shirt purchased at a local thriftstore. Colors and brands will vary but all will be good quality." i think this diy approach is very encouraging as a model for other micro-enterprises - for example, this setup does not require elaborate distribution contracts or large printing facilities, which might be out of reach for many people. plus, it reminds of of the mid-90s diy punk scene, when bands self-released 7" singles with hand-screens sleeves and printed their shirts on whatever they could buy from the thrift store.

there are other stories like this. perhaps you've heard of the folks over at to write love on her arms. they're also proclaiming a hope beyond our current desperation, that rescue is possible. i love that shirts like this can be more than just an ad for a designer label or another cool band. i was wearing my twloha shirt when i took my family out to eat at the local red robin when one of the waiters asked me about it. he said he had seen lots of people at local concerts wearing the shirts and didn't know what it was. i explained a bit of the story to him - the hope, rescue and redemption that is possible...

i have a friend in dc who left his very nice job at a law firm to follow his conviction to serve God wholeheartedly. he now works for the millenium challenge corporation, whose work is to build a "new compact for global development...in which development assistance would be provided to those countries that rule justly, invest in their people, and encourage economic freedom."

love is the movement. may we each discover and dance to the heartbeat of God.

it'll end in tears ('84 remix)

2006-10-04T00:35:00.000-07:00

i didn't realize it until my wife pointed it out to me, but there are some strange things all michiganders tend to do. for example, whenever i meet a michigan native out here in california, we always do the "make your hand into the mitten-shape of michigan and point out where you're from" ritual. we've even had some of our college students test it out on their out-of-state friends, always with the same result...

it also took my wife's outside perspective to show me how strange it is that many michiganders are stuck in a 1984 timewarp. this has nothing to do with orwell's 1984. no, '84 was the magical year our beloved (and since beleaguered) tigers won the world series. gibby, trammell, "looouuuuu...", morris, petry, lopez... many restaurants in southeastern michigan still proudly display newspaper clippings and other '84 memorabilia as if it were yesterday.

that's why this season has been particularly painful for me. i don't mean to be a defeatist - i know that tonight was only one loss and they can still win this series against the mighty yankees, but i don't want to get my hopes up. the tigers started the season so strong... and then trailed off... and then, despite being called flukes by baseball pundits, led their division for most of the season.... until the very last day, that is. a five game losing streak against the woeful blue jays and royals put the tigers (and me) into their current predicament.

~~~~
in other news, i have a new article up over at relevant.

it'll end in tears

2006-10-03T23:39:00.000-07:00

i love when npr covers sports. it's kind of fun to get a non-meathead-type perspective on sports from time to time (whenever i can tear myself away from sportscenter). they had a piece the other day about a new rule for high school football in connecticut. the rule basically states that if the margin of victory in a game is more than fifty points, then the coach of the winning team will be suspended for the following game - presumably for displaying unsportsmanlike conduct for running up the score on a weaker opponent.

i'm not sure that legislating sportsmanship will actually teach it - but, given the current climate of youth sports in america today, it's probably good that people are at least thinking about it. after all, you've got "adults" who are bribing their own players to bean a disabled teammate, intentionally walking a player in a pony league baseball championship game in order to get to the next player - a nine-year old brain cancer survivor, and rushing the field to assault a 13-year old during a football game. all of these incidents involved adults who were supposed to be coaching the teams.

regarding the connecticut football mercy rule, i've heard people argue that losing develops character, that kids should learn to take the good with the bad, that life isn't always fair, etc. and i agree to a certain extent. however, while these are important life lessons (like this important life lesson from tlc displayed on the left side, "the all you can eat buffet is not a challenge"), i think it's also important for the adults involved in these sports to maintain some perspective. namely, that no matter how seriously folks around town take their football, baseball, etc., that these are still games. sure, kids need to learn that losing is a part of life, but they also need to hear - and see - that winning isn't everything.

certainly, a level of competition can make a game more fun. i don't think a game of kickball would be much fun without keeping score (although it might be - you never know!) but i'm not sure i'd want my daughter playing on a team where the coach took the game too seriously.

two of hearts

2006-09-15T14:56:00.000-07:00

this is odd.

now, how to build up a nice conspiracy theory linking these two ;)

head on

2006-09-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

primetime aired this program the other day about how mean teenagers can be - their meanness often amplified by use of the internet. i was definitely interested in watching - i'm a youth pastor, after all. beyond that, as well, my daughter has started attending preschool a couple of days a week and i know part of the socialization process involves learning how to deal with difficult kids. a couple of days ago, our family went to the park and another little girl tried to push my daughter off one of the rides - right in front of her mom, who did nothing to stop her. yikes.

anyhoo, my wife and i decided, despite our interest, not to watch the program. we realized that it probably would only serve to get me angry - without anything particularly constructive coming out of it.

it's sort of like some of the blogs i read. perhaps you've read them. one in particular features a blustery christian leader ranting about whatever wimpy people or issues happen to get his goat. i've heard from many people that this person has some great insights - but i can't get past the bluster. most of the time i find myself wondering why he cares so much about some of these issues, when many of them clearly fall outside of his sphere. i'm sure he would say something about how jesus reserved his harshest criticism for religious leaders and how he is the upholder of the banner of truth, or something like that. but all of his macho posturing sounds a lot like those suburban gangs who feel like they have something to prove, so they go over the top in their aggression and violence.

i must admit, sometimes i like to get angry. there's something strangely satisfying about stomping around in a self-righteous rage - especially when i can make someone else the enemy, the fall guy for all my own insecurities and shortcomings. but this is not who i want to be.

i think i'll avoid some of these blogs for awhile. i won't call it a fast, though. it's more like common sense, trying to avoid something that is sure to put me in a foul mood for the rest of the day.

truly great thing

2006-08-30T20:55:00.000-07:00

in july, our family went to see the sound of music at the hollywood bowl. other than the very drunk people behind us who kept making "general lee" and "luke duke" comments (john schneider played captain von trapp, and was "bo duke" anyhoo), it was a great time! under my daughter's strict orders, the sound of music soundtrack has pretty much been streaming 24/7 around here since. so in honor of (or submission to) tsom, here a few of my favorite things from the past couple of weeks...

this past sunday, our family went to the getty museum for a children's concert. charity and the jam band led a fun-filled hour of songs, complete with a "mushpot" (the kids' equivalent of a moshpit, they helpfully explained) of kids in the front, dancing the afternoon away. the band performed on a pretty steep hillside, so after about ten minutes, there was a puddle of kids smushed up in a grinning, dancing bunch to stage-left. though i couldn't have pictured it pre-fatherhood, i enjoy many of daughter's favorite bands. i find myself humming "we are the dinosaurs" or the theme from jack's big music show at the most random times.

while i couldn't play my way out of a paper bag in counterstrike (the first-person perspective makes me dizzy, leaving me an easy target for my students to pick off - with a little too much joy, i might add), i have found a different way to burn through hours on end. guitar hero, thou art my new donkey konga. although she is unfamiliar with such standards as "cowboys from hell" by pantera, or "unsung" by helmet, my wife torches me every time we play. and that's how i know it's true love.

though they haven't released an album since 1989, and even though i haven't been much for concerts these days, i went to see gorilla biscuits in anaheim a couple of weeks ago. it was like being in middle school again, learning to skate on that gigantic christian hosoi hammerhead deck. and apparently, plenty of other old fogies agreed. the sold old crowd relived the glory days of new york hardcore as we moshed, stage-dived and grinned the night away. see for yourself!

and i can't leave out one of my everyday favorites - talking with my daughter. we were driving the other day, talking about how God created the world and she said to me, "jesus is pretty cool, right?" one day, about ten years from now, when she asks me to drop her off at the corner so her friends don't see me, i will remind her of how much fun we had talking :)

up down turn around

2006-08-19T22:39:00.000-07:00

my wife and i had a great discussion over this bible text last week (i know, i know.... nerdy pastor-couple having a bible discussion... but it really is wonderful to have scripture come alive with the one i love).... it started as i was preparing for our upcoming youth retreat. our theme was "the upside-down kingdom" - that is, following jesus offers us more than just a "get out of jail free" card; it will change the way we see the world, often turning things upside-down from the conventional wisdom with which we've been raised...

as i was exegeting the theme text ("whoever wants to become great must become a servant") and setting it in its context, i got kind of stuck on the parable of the workers in the vineyard, in the beginning of matthew 20. i found myself basically siding with the workers who arrived early in the morning to do the hard work. yeah, why should they get paid the same as those lazy eleventh hour "workers"? those guys probably planned to show up at the last minute anyways...

the basic take i've heard on this text goes something like this: don't act like this is unfair because you're all eleventh hour workers! consider yourselves lucky even to be here, sinners! (this usually came before the "repent, you calloused-hearted-sinners" prayer time; some of these pastors probably need to work on anger issues)...

while there might be some truth to this approach (i.e., we cannot earn our salvation), it seems to miss the main point - the thing that is actually scandalous here. namely, that the owner of the vineyard is outrageously generous. there is no enron-type scandal, no looting of employee pensions, no grossly disproportionate ceo wages... no, the scandal is one of grace. the owner is gracious, and it's driving people nuts.

so when jesus hits us with the punchline, "the last will be first, and the first will be last," He is, of course, dealing with more than just the literal order in which the workers are paid. the main point of the parable seems to be the generosity of the owner, not the hard work of his employees. perhaps this is to remind us that God is the main point of His kingdom, and our hard work flows from Him. i don't want to read too far into this parable, but i am reminded that it is a privilege to be even a small part of what God is doing in His kingdom (so much better to work for Him than anyone else) and that, perhaps, serving Him today is reward enough (although what He has promised in the future is not too shabby either)...

~~~~
thankfully, during the quiz show portion of our retreat, all of our students were able to recognize that the phrase, "you must learn to master your rage... or your rage will master you!" was not an upside-down saying of jesus. nope, that one is from the sphinx!

wonderwall

2006-08-09T15:57:00.000-07:00

...or wall of voodoo?
and its partner in crime (note the "special flavor"):

hop on the bus

2006-08-03T15:36:00.000-07:00

i recently joined a discussion group who will be journeying together through dallas willard's latest work, the great omission. the official discussion won't start until next week, so there's still time to join if you are interested.

i'm definitely excited about this discussion group. i'm also a little bit worried because i've started reading the first couple of chapters, and this is one of those kinds of books. some might say it could "ruin" them. i find myself already uncomfortable with willard's insightful, and incisive, commentary on the state of christianity today. not because i disagree but, rather, because i see myself in so much of his critique.

a quick excerpt:

But the cost of nondiscipleship is far greater - even when this life alone is considered - than the price paid to walk with Jesus, constantly learning from him. Nondiscipleship costs abiding peace, a life penetrated throughout by love, faith that sees everything in the light of God's over-riding governance for good, hopefulness that stands firm in the most discouraging of circumstances, power to do what is right and withstand the forces of evil. In short, nondiscipleship costs you exactly the abundance of life Jesus said he came to bring (John 10:10).

i sometimes find myself almost apologizing for how difficult it can be to follow Jesus. however, i'm starting to recover that right perspective - it actually costs much more not to follow Him. more than just answering with a churchy, flippant "Jesus" to the important questions (how can i live with depth, clarity, passion and purpose? how can i be changed from a jerk into a more godly person? who made flying squirrels?), i want to follow Him.

the other side of summer

2006-08-02T14:36:00.000-07:00

it sounds like good news - the house recently passed a bill to increase minimum wage from $5.15 to $7.25. this would be the first increase in minimum wage since 1997. cost of living has certainly increased in the last ten years, so such a move is long overdue...

however, republicans attached to this bill an inheritance tax cut - which only affects the superrich (the wealthiest 0.5 percent of the nation). sojourners breaks down the stats this way:

14.9 million workers earn minimum wage
this would increase their annual wage by $1,200
the estate tax cuts would benefit 8.200 people
their average benefit would be $1.4 million

i suppose i shouldn't be surprised that such a thing would happen. however, it feels a lot like helping people with one hand while pushing them down with the other.

i hear people say things like, "well, if you were that wealthy, wouldn't you want to pass along that wealth to your kids?" of course i would want to provide for my kids as much as possible - but if had that much money, would my kids really need that extra $1.4 million? would having another yacht make their life that much better? i know, i know - they've just got to have that bugatti...

such great heights

2006-07-29T13:57:00.000-07:00

perhaps a better question might be who doesn't want to be a superhero? stan lee (comic book creator of notable characters such as the fantastic four, incredible hulk, x-men and spiderman) is hosting a reality show for would-be superheroes called "who wants to be a superhero?", complete with a secret super-lair and personal communicators (i.e., old blackberry devices). it's basically as nerdy as it sounds (which suits me just fine!)... like most reality shows, there can only be one winner - after each episode, one contestant is eliminated.

the last challenge i saw had stan lee telling the superbunch that they would have to change from their normal clothes into their supergetup and race to a designated finish-line as quickly as possible. although they were supposed to find an inconspicuous place to change, one person changed in a garbage can (i know) and one guy changed in a grassy patch in plain public view.

anyhoo, stan had set up a little girl near the finish line who "lost" her mom, and was crying out for help. this, of course, was the real test. sort of a variation on the old "good samaritan" test which, depending on the version, has a group of seminarians being tested on or delivering a sermon on luke 10:25-37. when they arrive for their test, they are told it has been moved to another location - and to hurry up and get there already. on the way, the majority of them ignore a person who is obviously in need of help... thus failing to live out what they are in such a hurry to teach/preach...

true to form, most of the superheroes completely passed up the little girl - in one case, looking directly at her and then deciding to run to the finish line anyways... when stan lee called them out on this, most of them apologized - saying that they were so focused on winning that they didn't notice anything around them. in fact, stan lee had told the group that they wouldn't be tested on super-powers (which, despite their possible delusions, do not exist) but that they would be tested on what makes a superhero on the inside - honesty, integrity, compassion...

kind of reminds me of an old this american life segment i heard, where the narrator surveys people on whether they wished they had the ability to fly or become invisible. people thought very deeply about this issue - because it was not only the cool ability that they would have, but what it said about their character as well... flight being a noble superpower (picture superman swooping in to save the innocent bystanders) and invisibility being a not-so-noble superpower (picture... well, you get the picture)...

just gimme indie church

2006-07-28T04:45:00.000-07:00

sojourners has a great article presenting some leading voices in the "new folk" or "anti-folk" music movement. included, of course, is critical indie darling sufjan stevens. however, lesser known artists such as anathallo and half-handed cloud are also highlighted. apart from musical eclecticism and enthusiastic performances, these artists also share faith in christ. as the article asks, "is a movement of post-punk, justice-seeking, jesus-following musicians on the rise?"

as someone whose formative years were spent in and out of the punk scene, these kinds of questions always intrigue me. i love that these artists not only create wonderful, joyful noises, but that they also embody the diy (do it yourself) ethic of the old punk scene from the 80s and 90s. the article notes, "this diy sensibility of both folk and punk has shaped a new artist collective that is creating its own networks, communities, and culture through self-promotion and distribution rather than relying on corporations."

labels like asthmatic ktty and sounds familyre remind me of the heyday of indie rock, when labels like dischord, merge, simple machines and kill rock stars were releasing innovative, inspiring music that people could actually afford to buy....

hopefully, the emerging church can continue to embody the best of this diy spirit.... where the reason we get into the whole church deal is not for numbers or "success", or even results.... where we foster small, creative communities that, against the odds, feel like they can make a difference.... where we encourage, and even equip, those with the same heart to pursue their God-given vision as well, even if we don't get the credit.

one of my favorite relics from the indie-rock days is a manual simple machines records distributed called "an introductory mechanic's guide to putting out records" - basically, the blueprints for starting your own record label (before the onset of the digital music revolution). instead of seeing other potential labels as competitors, simple machines sent out over 10,000 copies of their mechanic's guide in their brief eight-year history, to empower friends to get involved as well. a quote from the manual, "there is nothing that you can't do with a little time, creativity, enthusiasm and hard work. an independent business that is run with ingenuity, love and sense of community can even be more important than the products and services it sells... independent buisnesses can offer alternative notions of success, fame and rewards - all traits that are sorely needed in a society as consumer-focused and capitalistic as ours"... churches marked by creativity, enthusiasm, hard work, ingenuity, love, community (and a healthy dose of God's Spirit)...

i remember the willingness of bands like braid, endeavor and back of dave being willing to drive for hours and hours for no pay to play a show for a small handful of kids - all because it was for a good cause.

i think i'll go listen to some unrest...

i will follow

2006-07-25T22:09:00.000-07:00

does mtv play, um, music anymore? it seems like the bulk of their programming these days centers around the young, rich and bored (e.g., laguna beach, my super sweet sixteen, etc.). or, as one commenter wryly noted, the progams belong to the faux-hawked and orange-skinned. critiques aside, my wife and i stumbled across a program the other day that has us pretty hooked (hey, it's summer and lost doesn't start again until october!)...

on why can't i be you, a person approaches someone else he or she admires and asks to spend the next 48 hours with that person, learning about whatever qualities had initially been attractive - e.g., being outgoing, funny, unique, etc. it might be the awkward pause between the two people that starts each episode, or the slow, frustrated head-shaking of the host as he observes the often-difficult transformations, or just the goofiness of watching both people come together at the end wearing the same outfits to discuss their experience with the host, but this show has been providing hours of brain-numbing fun for our household...

while i don't want to be one of those pastors who turns everything into an illustration (and not to be a pastor who tells embarrassing stories about his family - so hard!), i can't help but catch a glimpse of how discipleship could work as i watch this show. i mean, wouldn't it be amazing if our faith in jesus was so profound, powerful and attractive that total strangers would approach us and want to know what makes us tick, and how they can live their lives in the same way? the fact that the two people on each episode must spend 48 straight hours together says something about the nature of friendship and transformation - it requires a serious investment of time, and can include some awkward moments, even disagreements. and, while there some overtly didactic moments ("if you want to shred as a snowboarder, you have to just go and kill it out there, dude"), most of the learning happens through observation and close proximity.

i don't mean to suggest that this show is a perfect analogy for discipleship. after all, the "teacher" receives $1000 for agreeing to participate (although, i suppose a church could go ahead and try that method anyhoo)... just a couple of thoughts - especially since "discipleship" is often reduced to a 12-week course taught in a church classroom (as i have done in the past)...

~~~~~
i'm intrigued by the use of 80s new-wave songs as titles for current things ("why can't i be you" is a cure song), especially among christians. i wonder if the good folks over at youth specialties have a special arrangement with depeche mode - does ys have to pay royalties for titles like enjoy the silence and everything counts? i wonder if any customers were surprised to hear larry hampton's voice instead of robert smith's when they purchased just like heaven? i think i'll write a book on relationships and community-building one day called people are people, of course.

until the end of the world

2006-07-20T21:56:00.000-07:00

other than depression and horror, how should i, as a christian, feel about the situation in the middle east? sometimes it feels like enough to make phrases that i love, such as love wins! and rescue is coming feel trite and meaningless. how do you explain to people whose entire neighborhood has been levelled that God loves them and has a wonderful plan for their lives? worse still, how do you explain to those same people why so many of those who seem to bear the name of Christ have such enthusiasm for war?

although i should have put two and two together, it took an email in my inbox to wake me up for just a moment. it came from world vision and it reads, in part:

Dear Sponsor,

We value your commitment to sponsoring a child in Lebanon. Your generous, faithful support means so much to this child, family and community.

You've probably heard in the media about the renewed hostilities in the region. Our field staff have informed us that your sponsored child's community is directly affected and responding to families displaced by the fighting. We're grateful to hear in the latest report that your child is safe — and will do our best to get more information as it becomes available.

we have been supporting a child in lebanon for a couple of years now, but only now is it dawning on me that his family is in imminent danger. while we've never visited our sponsor child or anything like that, we have his photograph on our fridge - so we see him everyday. what a hardened heart i have, that it takes putting a face to the conflict for my heart to be genuinely moved.

it saddens and frustrates me that there are those christians who, in their misguided, apocalyptic, left-behind fervor, actually welcome violence and conflict in the middle east. i'm pretty sure jesus had a couple of things to say about his return, and none of it involved lahaye, jenkins or corny, straight-to-video sequels.

sojourners offers a couple of more thoughtful, God-honoring responses we might take toward this conflict:

Be consistent in denouncing the violence of both sides - especially when it is deliberately aimed at civilians (or targets where great civilian "collateral damage" will be the result).

Pray for the emergence of new political leadership on both sides - both of which seem bereft of creative, courageous, moral, or even pragmatic leadership.

Challenge any religious voices that seem utterly one-sided, completely neglecting the suffering and legitimate grievances of both sides.

Pray for new ways for Christians and our churches to join our Jewish and Muslim brothers and sisters in finding real and practical solutions for a just peace in the Middle East where two states can live with security and democracy.

And pray for better solutions than endless war to solve the real threats of terrorism in our world, because if we fail, all of our children will be at risk.

there's no other way

2006-07-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

though i'm still not completely sure about the working-out of these thoughts, several books i have been reading lately seem to be converging into one serendipitous stream (why can't these kinds of moments land me a spot on jeopardy, or this show?)...

mclaren's secret message of jesus, claiborne's irresistible revolution, and peterson's living the resurrection each deal with unique themes and topics and, yet, each contains similar ideas regarding the true nature of the kingdom of God...

just as some have sought to bridge the red/blue political divide with a "purple" middle-ground, so are some believers wrestling with the implications of the kingdom of God - is the kingdom of which Jesus spoke simply the post-death eternity His believers will experience (the sweet by-and-by)? is it the so-called "social" gospel that deals primarily with societal problems in this world (the here-and-now)? is there some kind of third way?

in other news, we're getting ready for our youth summer retreat. theme, location, dates... it's all being worked out... but at least the important stuff has been taken care of. rebreakable boards shall be thusly distributed as prizes of awesomeness to the winners of yet-to-be-determined retreat games & activities. back in the day, one of my co-pastors and i gave out a riverdance vhs as the top prize. while we were in stitches, the student was unmoved. he gave it back to us. perhaps i will report back in a couple of weeks, a couple of rebreakable boards richer.

tribute

2006-07-11T17:39:00.000-07:00

mr. yuk was a character created by the children's hospital of pittsburg to prevent kids from getting into potentially hazardous situations at home. so, for example, parents would put a mr. yuk sticker on that bottle of draino under the kitchen sink so that little bobby would not drink it.

but, man, the psa they came up with. it's probably the craziest, and scariest, psa ever. i think it goes beyond "scared straight" into trauma territory. a sample lyric: "home is full of bad things that can hurt you very much"... yikes. after watching the ad, i might sleep with the lights on. watch for yourself. if you dare!

texas never whispers

2006-07-09T18:38:00.000-07:00

just got back from a couple of retreats... one in seattle and one in dallas. retreats can be such spiritual highlights for many people, and it's really a privilege to be a small part in that. however, retreats also remind me of how my heart has been moving more & more toward the importance of walking with God in the ordinary & everyday... experiencing God in the highs (and the lows) is important and necessary, but i think lasting transformation of our heart & character happens when we learn to seek Him in the boring old routines of our everydays lives...

retreat themes are great. i've seen all kinds - ranging from the goofy ("hello, my name is..") to the simple ("first love") to the just plain theologically wrong ("jesus is my security blanket"... no, seriously). my friend's church in seattle settled on the theme "24" to reflect the heart of learning to walk with God 24 hours a day - not to compartmentalize our faith, but to allow Christ to be the foundation for everything....

speaking of 24, how about all those emmy nominations? i'm not sure if this past one was my favorite season, but that scheming president turn was pretty great tv. i wonder why lost was snubbed, though? i suppose lost might have suffered from some kind of sophomore slump this season, but it was still pretty compelling stuff. i wonder how much they'll pull back the curtain on the island in the next season. on one hand, it's kind of nice to get some concrete answers so that we're not frustrated all the time (try watching the prisoner!)... but on the other hand, things can definitely turn downhill after revealing too much (see x-files).

anyhoo, i'll never forget these couple of retreats - if only for the crazy skits the students created. more than one featured jesus and satan fighting. but not the old-school, carman-type boxing match... no, it's been updated for the zoolander set, with jesus and satan breakdance fighting. one skit in particular has the jesus-character take off his shirt within the first four seconds. so wrong on so many levels....

strangelove

2006-06-27T22:58:00.000-07:00

it's been kind of humid around here these days. you might think being born and raised in michigan (and therefore living perpetually in 1984, when our beloved and beleaguered tigers last won the world series - though they're finally pretty good again this year), and having lived on the east coast for over ten years might have acclimated me to humidity - but, no.

anyhoo, the strange humidity has reminded me of how much i enjoy california. sure, people have their complaints about the southland (e.g., the flakiness, the smog, the traffic) but all in all it's been great. just like anywhere else, i suppose it's what you make of it. maybe it's because i didn't bring any expectations about what it would be like here...

well, that's not entirely true. one preconception that has been trounced to bits by tahoe after tahoe is the idea that californians would all be driving tiny, efficient automobiles. you know, the kind you plug in at night - and that greets you with a warm, green hug in the morning. i suppose my thinking was: californians are environmentalists, gigantibus gas-guzzling suv's are really bad for the environment, therefore californians all drive priuses (priae?). boy, was i wrong.

most any day on the freeway, i expect to hear an announcer echoing about how "grave digger is driving down the 91 westbound this tuesday, tuesday, tuesday" as i see that ford excursion with five-foot tall tires bearing down on me in my rearview mirror. tahoes, suburbans, escalades, navigators, hummers, h2s, titans, f-150s... all waiting to crush the poor fools who get in their way.

it's called the topkick (the red one) and it's usually manufactured as a dumptruck or shuttle bus, but monroe truck equipment will sell about 750 of these bad boys to napoleonically-complexed citizens each year. look how it dwarfs that h2. mpg? i think i might be more fuel-efficient than this car, if i were the one drinking gasoline. it's like giving the metaphorical finger to all those poor fools who worry about the environment, dependance on fossil fuels, or being run off the road by overly-aggressive road-ragers. for anyone who has wanted to be grant the hunter, shooting down bald eagles and eating them on sandwiches, have i got the car for you!

she's a maniac

2006-06-20T20:46:00.000-07:00

better than mentos & diet coke (even that orchestrated bellagio-style fountain)...

confusion (instrumental)

2006-06-16T11:14:00.000-07:00

these days, video game soundtracks are a big deal. even the hollywood bowl orchestra features an entire performance of their arrangements of video game music (including zelda, warcraft and mario). the typical soundtrack for a sports game (football, skateboarding, etc.) usually includes some combination of metal, hip-hop and punk. it's almost always loud and it's intended to be extreme! you know, because button-mashing is tough work and i nothing helps me gets my game on like that dude in the red hat yelling stuff over hyper-processed guitars!

anyhoo, the soundtrack for major league baseball 2k6 (didn't we get past naming things this way?) has some very, um, interesting choices. the line-up sounds more like a twee festival in the uk than a testosterone-level-raising rawk fest. the heavy thrashing lineup includes such shredders as belle & sebastian, pavement and yo la tengo. i mean, when i hear the opening strains of "box elder" i know i need to throw that mid-90s sinker! and "big day coming" makes me want to turn that fastball to the opposite field! actually, i think this is a great soundtrack (bear vs. shark, guided by voices, mogwai)... just kind of odd.

riders on the storm

2006-06-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

the world cup 2006 has officially begun! well, the first match was actually last friday but, for me, it started early this morning.... korea kicked off their followup to their historic 2002 run to the semifinals with a 2-1 victory over tournament first-timers togo.

while i'm not a hardcore football enthusiast (for example, i can't really name any european club teams beyond man u, arsenal and real madrid), i do enjoy the game. especially when the world cup rolls around! after all, what sport is more global? what tournament offers such twists and turns (trinidad and tobago!)? what soccer might lack in sportscenter-ready highlights, it more than makes up for with its strategy, finesse and brute athleticism. we're used to seeing james posey flop on a jerry stackhouse drive to the lane - imagine instead running full-speed, while dribbling a soccer ball, and being shaolin soccered across both shins.

and, while the sport does have certain major issues with which to contend (racism, in particular), soccer endures in its ability to bring together different nations. i'll never forget during the 2002 tournament when i met a gas station attendant in new jersey who was of turkish descent. we talked about the upcoming match between turkey and korea and, as i was leaving, he smiled and said, "we are brothers." maybe football can offer some small gimmer of hope to bringing the civil war in the ivory coast to an end, as bono suggests via voiceover in certain world cup preview adverts. c'mon, let's hug it out like korea and togo!

something to believe in

2006-06-07T23:54:00.000-07:00

jason boyett's pocket guide to the bible is an easy read. this, as it turns out, is quite a compliment, given the difficult nature of the subject he is covering - no less than the Good Book itself.

boyett stuff pgttb's 191 pages with a veritable biblepalooza's-worth of information (biblical terminology, character and content summaries, history of the bible itself). to some, this might sound duller than sitting through last quarter's earnings summary report, again. however, boyett's conversational tone is both humorous and engaging, making pgttb a very enjoyable reading experience.

beneath the winking and smirking, readers will find pgttb a very useful reference - and not only bible novices. even long-time bible readers will probably find themselves asking, "is that in there?" as they read through some of boyett's insightful breakneck summaries. the biblicabulary will help readers understand key insider lingo faster than king nebuchadnezzar can say to the israelites, "all your base are belong to us." chapter six, "the brief history of holy write," is an invaluable resource for both understanding how that purpose-driven pimply teen boy's extreme study bible ended up on your coffee table and as a concise survey of some important church history.

and, really, what bible readers haven't found their thoughts wandering in some of the more obscure texts into thoughts such as, "now that would totally rule as a band name!" look no further than page 186 for seven (count 'em, seven) such would-be awesome band names. in fact, i think his list of awful health conditions (see page 173) would make correspondingly wicked lead singles for some of these bands. imagine the intro, "and after the break, we'll hear 'smited bowels,' the hot new track from forsake my sweetness."

man in the mirror

2006-06-06T23:26:00.000-07:00

while watching vh1's "40 least metal moments" (which, incidentally, was won (lost?) by vince neil of motley crue performing the chicken dance at some random community fair in, like, cincinnati) i realized that scott ian from anthrax is charlie hall's doppelganger:

while we're at it...
nick nolte : gary busey :: patrick swayze : kurt russell
michael douglas : martin sheen :: julia styles : kirsten dunst

i mean, really, have any of these people been seen together in the same room at the same time? just some pseudo-apocalyptic 06.06.06 rambling...

everybody wants to rule the world

2006-06-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

immigration is such a hot-button issue, especially here in the southland (infamous home of the minuteman project). i was listening to npr yesterday as i was driving and i heard a very provocative set of interviews with different residents of border towns - both from mexico and the united states.

one story: us border officials set up a roadside check-in station in a city (not a border town, though) and pulled over people who appeared to be of latino descent. one family was forcefully separated by these officials, after the entire family was detained and the parents were interrogated for over eight hours. as it happened, the parents had immigrated illegally thirteen years previous to this incident, and their children were born in the states. after basically being treated like the perps in the law & order questioning room, the parents waived all their rights and were deported. just like that.

another woman, an american, was interviewed in a different city (this one a border town). she complained loudly about how "those mexicans" earned money here in the states and then sent it back home to mexico. according to this woman this is a major economic issue, you see, because that money should stay here. the reported must have sensed something was off, because he continued to question her.

he saw the woman's family in the car, so he asked if the family was going somewhere. they were going across the border to mexico, she explained, so her daughter could get an eye exam. an eye exam? the reporter questioned. well, duh, the woman answered - it's like $30 there and over $90 here.

after an awkward pause, it dawned on this woman. "well, um, i guess our money isn't staying here, either," she stammered.

if this woman could remove all of "those" people from this nation, how would it improve her lot? *sigh*

another time, another place

2006-06-01T10:29:00.000-07:00

my family and i took a quick memorial day vacation up to san francisco (how delightful, "francisco. francisssco!") and, like good tourists, took in a bunch of the sights. we rode the cable cars, walked around the fisherman's wharf, drove across the golden gate bridge and, of course, visited alcatraz!

as our boat approached the island penitentiary i had a strange feeling of deja vu, even though i knew i had not been there before. and then it hit me - i had visited alcatraz many times... through a tony hawk skateboarding game on the ps2. i'm definitely not a gamer, so it was a completely surreal experience to walk around this place that i had randomly visited in cyber/gaming-space. i must say, the tony hawk folks did a pretty good job at mapping out the island ;)

anyhoo, during the audio tour of the prison itself, we heard many interesting stories about notorious inmates, breakout attempts, prison riots and such. on one wall was this photo, describing some of the most infamous inmates ever housed at alacatraz:

second from the left is al capone, notorious gangster and tax cheat.... next to him, i believe, is the man known as the "birdman" of alcatraz (who ended up, apparently, in isolation because he was quite a handful as a prisoner). but when i saw alvin "creepy" karpis (second from the right), i had that same, strange feeling that i had seen him before. was it from a movie? was he a minor character from the tony hawk game?

it wasn't until we were driving home that i blurted out to my startled wife who it was, exactly, that i thought mr. creepy karpis looked like - adam clayton from u2, of course! it's always the bassist, isn't it? my wife, being the compassionate and reasonable around here, responded by asking, "don't you think he would be sad to hear that?" now, i'm not saying anything bad about adam clayton from u2. he seems pretty nice. still, though, bono and the gang might want to run some background checks :O

the final countdown

2006-05-25T22:19:00.000-07:00

why do sports have such a powerful effect on people?

i just finished watching the conclusion to game two of the eastern conference finals between the detroit pistons and miami heat and my heart is still racing. i wasn't able to tune into the game until the final three minutes or so. i was elated to see that the pistons had the game in hand, with a twelve-point lead at 1:46. this turned to worry as the heat mounted a comeback, and quickly gave way to fury as the refs blew a couple of obvious calls toward the end. i was just about ready to meltdown after dwayne wade hit a three to pull within two points with 9.8 seconds left. but, happily, detroit pulled out a four-point victory in the end. sweet reprieve.

in about a month, the world cup will begin in germany. the hopes & dreams of 32 nations hang in the balance. football heavyweights brazil (the 2002 champs), england and argentina will be there... along with a first-time appearance from trinidad & tobago.

i'll never forget the 2002 tournament. the unheralded korean team shocked the football world and took fourth place. i remember the excitement building with each game... each game would virtually shutdown korean restaurants, bars and markets. because of the extreme time difference, i would watch their games at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning - cheering silently so that i wouldn't wake up my wife (and on univision no less, because no english-language channels carried their games).

one poignant moment: as korea was preparing to play turkey in the third-place consolation match, i stopped by a gas station in jersey to fill up. as it happened, the attendant was turkish. we smiled and talked about the upcoming match and what a wonderful tournament it had been for both teams. as i left, my new friend looked me in the eye and said, "we are brothers."

~~~~
i love the energy of live sporting events. the smell of dodger dogs, the sight of university of michigan basketball fans all dressed in maize & blue and hopping up & down through the entire game, the enthusiastic high-fives from the strangers seated next to you.... and the songs! i love how baseball players will use entrance music - apparently derek jeter cues up eminem before coming to bat. other favorites among mlb stars include metallica, rage against the machine, jay-z and ludacris.

however, for me, nothing will ever top the entrance song the pistons used back in the day (and still might very well use today): "the final countdown," by 80s hair rockers europe. i can hardly hear the synth-intro without getting all misty eyed and pumped up. thanks, guys.

bring on the dancing horses (man up!)

2006-05-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

sometimes i enjoy infomercials more than actual television programs (but probably not this week, what with the season finales of 24 and lost!). case in point: spray-on hair. the only potential issue i could see might be inclement weather (cut to a soaked, bald man with goopy "hair" dripping off his face). a brief aside: i love these "before/after" photos. it usually appears to be two different people. so, unless the product claims to turn the user into an entirely different person, these photos seem less than authentic. but back to commercials...

i have noticed quite a few "be a man"-type adverts lately. one posits that men's lack of manliness starts in the shower. specifically, from using effete soap products as daily cleansers. the answer, supported by a marching band of g-men, is to take back the shower! and use soap that comes from an oil can! the problem, according to burger king, goes much further than just the cleaning habits of men. oh no, the problem extends even to our eating habits. our food! we scoff at salads. we laugh at low-carb menus. we harumph at health food (okay, that one was a stretch). but seriously, a man's gotta eat a texas double whopper! strangely, bk chose to use a musical-type format to convey this message of manliness. i'm not convinced that this method is consistent with their message of manliness. let's rally, and choreograph! raaaawr! even wines have gotten into the manly act. i mean, really, what man hasn't gone to a ballgame and thought to himself, "i wish i had a nice merlot to pair with this chili dog"? just in case their "no more wimpy wines" tagline was too subtle, this winery's logo used to feature wild stallions. the subtext being, i suppose, that drinking their wines would unleash the inner beast, causing men to run through fields, untamed, unbridled.

what does it mean to be a man? obviously, it goes much deeper than soap or ground beef, or any marketing campaign. several titles at the local christian bookstore wrestle with this question. risk, by kenny luck, tells us "Jesus challenges God's man to throw predictability, control, safety, and comfort out the window and go to the next level in their faith." (in a bit of publishing serendipity, kenny's surname seems to imply the very title of his book)... wild at heart, by john eldredge, offers insight and inspiration. and, though it is not strictly a book for men, erwin mcmanus calls believers to break free from the chains of domesticated, civilized faith in the barbarian way.

strength and servanthood. honor and humility. love, grace, sacrifice... still trying to figure it out...

somewhere only we know

2006-05-12T02:13:00.000-07:00

despite the fact that i am in the middle of several books right now (the secret message of jesus, growing healthy asian-american churches, to own a dragon, in praise of slowness) i could not resist purchasing this title at the bookstore today > >

this is amazon's description:
"A riveting, in-depth, behind-the-scenes account of the subculture of modern Christian rock music, which saw estimated sales of one billion dollars in 2003 alone

Body Piercing Saved My Life is the first in-depth journalistic investigation into a subculture so large that it's erroneous to even call it a subculture: Christian rock. Christian rock culture is booming, not only with bands but with extreme teen Bibles, skateboarding ministries, Christian tattoo parlors, paintball parks, coffeehouses, and nightclubs,encouraging kids to form their own communities apart from the mainstream.

Profiling such successful Christian rock bands as P.O.D., Switchfoot, Creed, Evanescence, and Sixpence None the Richer, as well as the phenomenally successful Seattle Christian record label Tooth & Nail, enormous Christian rock festivals, and more, Spin journalist Andrew Beaujon lifts the veil on a thriving scene that operates beneath the secular world's radar. Revealing, sympathetic, and groundbreaking, Body Piercing Saved My Life (named for a popular Christian rock T-shirt depicting Christ's wounds) is a fascinating look into the hearts and minds of an enormous, and growing, youth culture."

i have been mowing through this book, alternately laughing out loud (and reading particularly funny passages out loud to family members) and sighing at the recognition of what can be so messed up about the christian subculture bubble deal.

while one might expect a spin magazine writer to be derisive and/or condescending towards christian rock, beaujon's accounts have been very even-handed. he even counters some unfair criticism some bands have received.

this is the passage that convinced me to purchase this book:
At Christian rock festivals, it's the adults who dress wacky - turning out in full kilt dress, for instance, or an Oompa Loompa outfit. These people are youth pastors, and I was more than slightly mortified when, upon entering the gates at the Orlando Fairgrounds to see the Florida franchise of the Cornerstone Festival, a well-scrubbed young fellow asked me if I was one.

although i am one of these oddball youth pastors, i do not want to be one of those creepy youth pastors who tries to be "hip with the teens", tossing out "fo' shizzles" for street cred through my well-groomed goatee (or ironic handlebar moustache for the hipster set). i think it's great that many youth pastors can reach young people through various dude-isms, but it just doesn't work for me. i'm too much of a dork.

i really want to be able to focus in on one book at a time, but this one was too good to pass up.

~~~~
enjoying onelinedrawing and viva voce...

merchandise

2006-05-05T21:57:00.000-07:00

my daughter received this "girl fun pc" as a gift recently > > >

according to v-tech:
Girls just want to have fun—and with this hip, password-protected laptop, they will! Guided by talkative virtual friends she creates, your child will go to town playing fun, fashion-focused games that teach key skills in math and spelling. As she advances through the arcade-style games, your child adds value to her debit card, which she can use to buy pets and accessories in the Digital Pet Shop. With a magic lipstick stylus, flower-shaped keys and cool animations on the large LCD screen, Girl Fun PC makes an awesome impression on girls—and their learning!

i certainly do not want to sound ungrateful, but i was disappointed at this blatant stereotyping of what girls are supposed to be "into"... makeup, clothes, money, fashion... after completing a task, my daughter was urged by her digital friend, "let's go shopping!"... it's like the kid-sized shopping carts at some supermarkets that say "customer in training" on them. get 'em while they're young and mold them into consumers who want - need - more stuff! yikes.

there's nothing wrong with girls being "girly"... in fact, my daughter loves all things princess these days. i guess my issue is the underlying consumer-mentality - that, somehow, learning is not a worthwhile goal in itself; the great reward is the cash money. i suppose the manufacturer did make some effort to teach fiscal responsibility (it's a debit, not a credit, card). but i don't know.... the stylus is a "magic lipstick" tube? i guess girls don't want to use technology unless it's directly related to makeup or the mall?

as a father, i want my daughter to find her worth and identity in our heavenly Father, not in some kind of marketing agenda. we don't need any more help in trying to fill the void with things other than Christ.

~~~~
"you are not what you own." - ian mackaye

show me the way

2006-04-29T17:23:00.000-07:00

although i graduated with a bachelor's in economics, with a concentration in marketing, i wish i could have studied graphic design. even when i interned at an ad firm in philly, in the research and marketing department, i was always hanging around the design folks.

from a modernist perspective, some of the marketing things i learned can be helpful in building churches (e.g., precise demographic studies, statistics & number crunching, etc.)... but i think the postmodern in me sees the effectiveness of the "i" in leonard sweet's epic formula (experiential, participatory, image-driven, connected)... as the old cliche goes, a picture is worth a thousand words.

graphic design can be something like stained glass windows or church architecture... a visual narrative of our faith, adding sight to the sounds of our songs & sermons. it's part of why i love passing out t-shirts for church events... it acts as a kind of visual, physical stamp of the life of a church community at a particular moment in time (not to mention that everyone likes free stuff)...

above is a design i made for an upcoming children's day event for our church. whether by plane, train, or automobile (well, school bus), jesus wants all of his children to come to him. my favorite detail is the guy kickflipping the bus, shredding his way to christ :)

push it along

2006-04-28T00:58:00.000-07:00

back in high school, i couldn't stay focused long enough to take physics for more than three weeks, but i could keep track of all the bands that ian mackaye had been a part of (let's see... there was minor threat, embrace, egg hunt, pailhead, fugazi...).

for someone, like me, who enjoys indie rock and memorizing useless bits of trivia, it's always fun to connect the dots between different bands. one can create analogies: for example, joy division : new order :: bauhaus : love & rockets. or, we could perform addition: members of far + texas is the reason + chamberlain = new end original.

lately, i've been enjoying maritime. they feature members from seminal post-punk groups the promise ring and the dismemberment plan. while some of my favorite music came from the mid-90s midwestern post-punk genre (e.g., christie front drive, braid, mineral, promise ring, etc.) i have enjoyed the musical progression the members of maritime have made. it is always interesting to hear the future direction of a past favorite. jawbox > > burning airlines... christie front drive > > antarctica > > the 101... mineral > > the gloria record > > pop unknown...

something about learning from the past and adapting for the future...

rescue me

2006-04-15T14:14:00.000-07:00

the phony in me puts on the appearance of strength, but with less than satisfactory results.

it does not require close inspection to realize that although our man "el gigante" is very tall, he is wearing a suit with the muscles drawn in. and randomly placed shag carpet. i'm sure this struck terror in the hearts of his opponents, but probably not in the way he intended.

putting on appearances, play acting, pretending.... it's such a ridiculous endeavor. and yet, i often find myself carefully putting on my muscle suit, ready to parade around the ring, hoping no one will notice. i need to be rescued again and again from the charade.

i long to find true strength. christ in me, the hope of glory. maybe something a bit more like this >>
no pyrotechnics, no flashbulbs. just accomplishing a task that seems impossible, reaching for something beyond me. not literally, of course (although being able to rip a phone book in half or break a bunch of cinder blocks with my nogging would be pretty great), but the inner transformation from fear to courage, from apathy to passion.

becoming an easter person. alive. strong. maybe even pulling a tractor or two along the way.

in between days

2006-04-15T00:35:00.000-07:00

so much of life is lived somewhere in between...

with a nod to tony campolo, good friday was yesterday and easter sunday is coming tomorrow... and here i am, on this holy saturday, reminded of how this day represents so much of what life is like. waiting. uncertainty. hope, but not yet fulfilled. (here are some meaningful reflections on this theme)...

i want to celebrate the joy of easter without seeming like a phony used-car salesman. i want to know the reality of His resurrection. i have grumbled so much recently, grousing about ungratefully about how things *should* work out. i want to be able to wait on God without tapping my foot nervously & annoyingly, anxiously checking my watch and clearing my throat just loud enough for Him to know that i am unhappy with the delay.

we always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body - 2 corinthians 4:10

~~~~
further up & further in!

i ran (so far away)

2006-04-14T23:42:00.000-07:00

one of the great things about our neighborhood is the local community center. there are classes for our daughter, a pretty good workout equipment area, and a gym. i have been dropping in to play pickup basketball lately.

it is amazing how competitive some of these old fogies can get. (for our purposes here, "fogie" can be defined as anyone more than four years out of high school)... i've seen name-calling, venting & cursing, pushing & shoving... sometimes it seems more like the kidwatch babysitting program than a group of working professionals. after one particularly contentious exchange, one guy wandered off into a self-imposed timeout.

a brief aside: i am reminded of my first pickup game at seminary. somehow, i ended up being the second-tallest person on the court and ended up guarding this dude who was about six foot three, and very athletic. his first move to the hoop was a two-handed tomahawk dunk. as the realization that my only defense against this dunkitude was a slow-motion lunge, this scene repeated itself many times throughout this game, usually followed by a grin and a shrug. it was months before i mustered up the courage to play again.

anyhoo... i was playing earlier this week at our local gym, and i ended up jamming my ring finger something good. i should have listened to the voice in the back of my mind telling me to take off my ring finger to prevent unnecessary swelling. by the next morning, my finger had become more of a purplish hotdog than a proper human digit. and, sure enough, my ring was further squeezing my swollen finger.

i had these paranoid thoughts that i would need to be rushed to the e.r. "put that man on a gurney! i need thirty cc's of epi... stat!" (i'm just trying to remember any of the word-sounds i've heard on tv's e.r. before)... my biggest worry was that they would have to cut off my wedding band in order to treat my injury.

when i look at my wedding ring, i am reminded of how lucky i am to have married the love of my life. i also have this strange tendency to turn it around in circles around my finger when i am worshiping God through songs. i'm pretty sure it's more than just a nervous habit. i don't know when i became conscious of this action, but i realized that i do it because my wedding ring also reminds me of love that came down, filled with eternity and rescue. through the loud and quiet, the applause and jeers... the loving commitment of God endures...

thankfully, no rings were harmed in the healing of my finger.

~~~~
when my anxiety starts kicking into gear, i imagine all kinds of worst case scenarios. it's not enough to end up in some kind of emergency, but i imagine being on one of those tv newsmagazine expose-type deals... "you'll never guess what surgeons left inside this man's guts... three rolls of surgical tape!" or getting some kind of horrible staph infection afterward...

in a bit of doctor humor, my brother-in-law has always wanted to print retreat counselor shirts that read "event staph" on the back. *grin & shrug*

bigmouth strikes again

2006-04-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

we signed up our daughter for a toddlers' tumbling class, which began this morning. afterwards, in celebration of this special day we went to mcdonald's for breakfast. it was there that we picked up the morning paper and came across this article.

it is troubling the lengths to which some believers will go in order to define and defend the boundaries of their faith. the visigoths (in this case, tolerance and/or homosexuality) are closing it - quick, bar the gates! strike pre-emptively! sound the alarm and circle the wagons! if you are with us, then get on board - and if you're against us, look out!

there is certainly a place for truth. following Christ always includes the call to holiness.

however, it is wrong to put grace and truth in opposing corners, in some kind of either/or deathmatch. when the word became flesh, he came into his world full of grace and truth. i don't imagine grace and truth were like a jar of goober grape, as some might imagine - the peanut butter of grace and the grape jelly of truth co-existing in the same jar side-by-side, but easily separated and never co-mingling. some christians would make it seem as if the only way to take a stand for truth is by becoming belligerent or contentious because grace makes you into an anything-goes welcome mat on which others will trample.

there is also a place for outrage in our faith. there are things that should cause us to get mad, to yell and curse, to pull our hair out. children sold into sexual slavery. people dying of entirely curable illnesses. the socioeconomic disparity revealed by katrina. genocide in places like darfur.

it is regrettable that the angry street preacher-types are the ones with the best soundbites. rants about who God hates play well in the media. nuanced discussions characterized by grace, respect and understanding don't make for good tv. perhaps this is why scripture tells us to let our gentleness be evident to all - broadcasting the character of Christ over our personal politics and preferences.

there might be some faint glow of truth in this argument against tolerance. but the answer is not to become some kind of intolerant jerk. in the workplace and on the campus, there probably needs to be some kind of standard for interpersonal relationships in the community. however, for God's people, mere tolerance sets the bar too low. we're not called simply to put up with or endure those who are different from us. there is the impossible call to love our enemies. and, whether we are right or wrong about who we consider actually to be our enemies, we are still called to love them.

this can only be accomplished through Christ in us, and that through much hard work, earnest prayer and self-sacrifice. not flippant, virulent shouts or slogans, nor through the mentality that we alone are the True Defenders of the Faith (as if God were to greet us in eternity with, "boy, i was really in a bind with that whole homosexuality deal. i'm really glad you distilled my word into obnoxious bumper stickers and hateful t-shirts. well done, good and faithful servant!")...

to take hold of that for which Christ took hold of us...

~~~~
i don't want to become the kind of believer who is defined by how i criticize other believers. that's just as bad, maybe worse, than the above. i want to love mercy, to do justice and to walk humbly with my God and His people.

stop me if you think you've heard this one before

2006-03-30T23:18:00.000-08:00

lake superior state university (greetings from michigan, sufjan!) publishes a list of banished words every year. officially, it's the list of words and phrases banished from the queen's english for mis-use, over-use and general uselessness. past winner (losers?) include: metrosexual, chad, first-time caller and holiday tree.

this year, i'm casting my vote for "make no mistake". if i could also outlaw the look that goes with it (you know - squinting your eyes to affect steeliness) i would. it's one of those strange rhetorical devices that i'm guessing is supposed to imply toughness but is just plain confusing. if you've already spent twenty minutes trying to convince me of something, would i really make the mistake of thinking you're going to change your position in the next sentence?

another verbal pet peeve: asking a question and then immediately answering it. imagine: "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? eight hundred seventy three! that's how many." wouldn't it save some word mileage to simply say, "it takes eight hundred seventy three licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop"? actually, i think this one bothers me because a pastor i knew from the east coast would use this technique at least three or four times per sermon. which segues into part two of my lil' rant....

i think pastors should not be allowed to preach a single sermon that is longer than twenty-five minutes. i think there should be an agreement with the congregation: after a predetermined period of time has elapsed, the congregation can begin waving the preacher off the stage, as they do on showtime at the apollo (like this). if that doesn't work, then savion glover will unceremoniously tapdance you out of the pulpit. lest you think i'm being too harsh, i would apply the same agreement to myself (as i find myself preaching most sundays).

and, just to toss out a couple of parting shots, i think revealing the number of points you're about to make at the outset of the message should be likewise banished. this never fails to trigger the countdown in my mind... only two more points and three sub-points to go!

~~~~
the things that get under our skin are so strange. i had a friend in college whose nervous habit was to tap his fingers across his laptop keyboard without actually applying enough force to make the character appear onscreen. come midterms, you could hear the faint tappity-tap-tap echoing stressed-out strains from his room...

there is a light that never goes out

2006-03-28T23:46:00.000-08:00

i don't want to become one of *those* dads, always bragging about their kids and boring everyone with the minutiae of our lives (she chose blue jeans over green corduroys today! baby genius!).... but i am always delighted to hear her pray.

we've always sang a little song as our prayer for meals and she learned another song at the church nursery that she likes to sing before bedtime, but she's been learning to express many things to God in prayer. it's amazing how even this two-and-a-half year old can pray for her mom to recover from her weeklong bout with the flu (dear God, help mommy not be sick) and it's so much fun to hear what she's thankful for (thank you for the aquarium, and i got to touch a shark - which, incidentally, she did do today!).

tonight, unprompted, she thanked God for saving us. her mom and i have always prayed that she would love God whole-heartedly and i see how He is already answering those prayers.

~~~~
my daughter, wife and i had a raging dance party tonight in our kitchen. new order's "best of" provided the soundtrack for our dancing, laughing and dishwashing. so many things for which to give thanks to God....

get the balance right

2006-03-27T22:42:00.000-08:00

i love infomercials. maybe it's the wonderfully bad production value, or the fanciful nature of the products and their promises (buy our spray on hair and the ladies will love you!)...

i saw one the other day that actually got me thinking... it was a piece of exercise equipment that combines a treadmill, stair climber and elliptical thingy. the underlying message seemed to be if you're only doing one exercise at a time, you are a lazy deadbeat (and probably a bad person, too). only slackers have time for a full workout...

it's like another book of strange inventions i saw... in japan, i guess their work breaks are not long enough to smoke more than one cigarette. the answer to this nicotine dilemma: a surgical mask-looking device, into which one could greedily place an entire pack of cigarettes. and, thus, one can smoke *twenty* in the time it usually takes to smoke just one.

if kierkegaard was right (and i'm putting my money on him over me) that purity of heart is to will one thing, i think i'm in big trouble. my mind is constantly darting around like so many little bunnies trying to escape wallace and gromit's bun-vac 6000. i'm not even a particularly good multitasker, so there goes that excuse. i can half-will about ten different things, but i can never seem to focus intently on that one thing...

i'm asking God for one thing, only one thing: to live with him in his house my whole life long. i'll contemplate his beauty; i'll study at his feet. that's the only quiet, secure place in a noisy world, the perfect getaway, far from the buzz of traffic. - psalm 27:4-5

wasn't ll cool j's unplugged performance amazing? in many ways, showcasing hip hop in the context of a live band was a major breakthrough. bands like the roots might owe some debt to that single performance... in any case, maybe i can unplug from the noise that surrounds and experience a breakthrough.

mama said knock you out!

~~~~
as someone who grew up with cbc (mr. dressup, anyone?), i will follow the lead of the new degrassi series and title my posts after new wave songs. you gotta love a series that has episodes titled "the lovecats," "bigmouth strikes again" and "bizarre love triangle".